First Laugh
by ravenclaw-timelord
Summary: Jerome Valeska wasn't always a villain. Jerome Valeska wasn't always sadistic, cruel, or bat crap crazy. He was an innocent child once. See how Jerome became the chaotic clown who would haunt the hearts of the people of Gotham. Set when Jerome was still a young boy growing up in the circus.
1. Chapter 1

Tears stung the eyes of the red head as he sat in front of his trailer. He pushed the book closer to his face, trying to block out the world around him. His head was fuzzy. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't ignore what was going on around him. The laughter from inside the trailer echoed around him. The rest of the circus was asleep or drunk. It was probably almost two in the morning. His mother brought home yet another man. This one was from the circus though. Probably a clown.

Sometimes they are particularly painful. Every Time his mother bring home another man, Jerome can tell almost every time if they're a hitter. This man was. He could tell by the way the men held themselves and the way they made eye contact, he always hated the hitters. Sometimes some of the men his mother brought home were nice, but that was rare. Sometimes he swore his mother did it for money by the looks of the some of the men. He knew she didn't, but it made him feel better. It made him feel as though she was doing it for him and his well being. Of course that wasn't the case.

When the men would hit him, his mother would join in as well. She looked at him as though he was the biggest mistake she ever made. No, not a mistake, an _accident_. The result of a faulty condom no doubt. Whenever she looked at him, it was hardly ever kindness in her eyes. Sometimes Jerome could swear he saw some love in her eye, but then he would realise she was drunk. They hardly ever had conversation. Only demands and fights.

He would always prefer when she would leave to go to another man's house instead of them coming here. He could do whatever he wanted. Usually he just took advantage of the crappy TV in the trailer his mom used to watch cheesy soaps. He never liked those, he prefered action or horror. One of his favourite movies was Alfred Hitchcock's _Psycho_. He would always look forward to October when he would find it on a channel. He loved the story with Norman and Norma. His favourite scene was the one with the shower. Jerome always loved the look of fear in her eyes. The actress did such a great job.

 _Crash_! A loud noise came from inside the trailer breaking his train of thought. He wanted to go to bed, but knew he couldn't walk through the trailer. His tutor was coming tomorrow morning. He like her and didn't want to scare her off.

"You crazy bitch!" A booming voice said as the door swung wide open almost ripping it off of it's hinges. Jerome jumped back from where he was sitting next to the door.

"I'm not the crazy one!" Lila yelled from the door as the man ran off. "Hey I don't want any of your filth in my home!" Jerome's mom grabbed the man's pants and hurled it at him. As he vansished out of sight, Lila straightened herself and looked down at her cowering son. "Come in inside, Jerome. That swine isn't coming back."

Jerome slowly got up not sure what to make of that scene. Part of him knew it was probably not smart to ask, but his curiosity was killing him. "What happened?" He said closing the door behind him.

"That's man's a filthy piece of trash that doesn't deserve to be near us." Lila took a swig of rum. "That's what happened." Surprisingly she didn't seem that angry towards Jerome. She was funny like that sometimes. One minute she would be hitting him and the next she would act like a perfectly okay person. Well, as okay as she could get. Lila plopped on the couch and patted the seat next to her. "Come here, Jerome."

Jerome hesitated before making the way to the couch and sat next to his mother. She put her arm around him and hugged him. Jerome stiffened at the strange gesture of affection.

"Jerome," His mother began in a drunken slur. "You're going to have to learn that in life…" She swayed in her seat. Was she becoming green? "People are going to be bad. You can't become one of them." Jerome was sure there was something she was trying to tell him, but her words were slurred and she was drunk as a skunk. He pushed her off him.

"Yeah, of course mom. I'm going to go get some sleep."

"No no not yet Jerome." She said trying to grab hold of him.

"No I really should. Mrs. Jones is coming tomorrow." He said starting to sound frantic.

"No come here." Her voice was growing more stern.

"Mom you're drunk." Jerome said pulling away from her.

"No I'm not." She said struggling to get off the couch. She took another swig of rum. "I can hold my liquor."

" I just want to go to bed." He said

"Fine." Lila said sitting back on the couch. Jerome thanked whatever power there was that she didn't make him stay. That could have gotten ugly. She became unpredictable when she drank. The problem was with that is that she's always drinking. Jerome started to rush to the back of the trailer where he slept.

"Jerome." _Crap._ "I love you." Lila said chuckling.

"I know mom." He said emotionlessly before heading back to his bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm not quite as happy about how this chapter turned out; I think that it seems a bit forced, but I still hope you enjoyed it! I also wanted to say I'm always open to comments and** **criticism** **and even plot suggestions. I'm writing this for other people so I want to hear your input!**

Jerome woke up that morning to find his mom wasn't there. She had probably left early to prepare for her act in the side show. Despite all of her faults, she was one of the most popular acts in the sideshow. Since she was a snake dancer, she attracts a wide audience, most of them men for obvious reasons. She liked to try out different things for each performance. At least she cared about her job or maybe she was just trying to impress them so they would be easier to seduce later.

Jerome got dressed in his usual jeans and a sweater. He wanted to look nice for his tutor. She was one of the nicest people he knew. Whenever the circus made a stop here in Midway city for a couple of weeks they would get her to tutor Jerome. She was one of the best teachers there. She came to Mr. Haly and asked if they ever needed a tutor she would happily oblige. She used to tutor some of the Grayson kids too, but they were old enough to not take school.

It was kinda lonely being one of the few kids in the circus. Either they were too young or a lot older than him. When he was younger he used to hang out with the Grayson kids, but eventually they grew up and stopped hanging out with someone so much younger. Mary Lloyd also used to babysit him, but he grew up and no longer needed someone to watch out for him. He always used to look forward to the time that he would spend with her. It was a break from his mother and just everyday life at the circus.

Another thing that could make life especially lonely for Jerome was the fact that he was the only kid in the circus that didn't want to stay there his whole life. All of the other kids wanted to follow in their parents footsteps and the footsteps of their grandparents, but Jerome's mother was the first one in their family to have been in the circus. Most of the other kids' families had been there for generations. Jerome didn't know much about his family. He tried looking them up once, but his mother caught him and he got in a lot of trouble. The only things he knew about his family is what he could pick out of his mother's drunken rants. It sounded like she was the family disappointment that nobody wanted.

He often wondered what his life would be like if he would have lived it normally. Maybe if his father had never gotten on that boat. His mother told him the story of the brave sea captain Sven Carlson. He had went to the circus one night and he and his mother fell madly in love. They spent a couple of weeks together and when she left they would talk on the phone. When they finally saw each other again she got pregnant with Jerome. He had to go back out to sea, but they were planning to get married when he got back. Sadly he went down with the ship.

Jerome always assumed that was when his mother became a drunk and a whore. She was so upset about Sven's death she couldn't go on. He liked to think that there was a true love there and that he really was born of love and not just lust. His mother never kept in contact with any of her part time lovers now, so she probably wouldn't then. They were going to get married too. He wondered if they would have settled down. Maybe had more kids. That was a nice thought. A good life.

He tried not to live in those fantasies though because the reality of the situation is that he lived in the circus. Maybe he could make more of his life, but he could never go to college. His mom didn't have the money, and even if she did it would be spent on booze. That's why he always like it when Mrs. Jones came. He liked to discuss his future with her. She was always so optimistic. She even said she might be able to pull some strings and get him a scholarship when he gets older! He always thought he would go to Gotham or maybe even Central City university. They both were great colleges and he always liked those places when the circus stopped there. He also thought about Ohio State or Michigan, he liked the midwest.

 _Knock, Knock_. Jerome's heart skipped a beat as he hears the sound of the knock at the door. Mrs Jones was here! He looked over the small trailer one more time to make sure it was clean before opening the door.

"Oh my gosh Jerome you've gotten so big!" Mrs. Jones said looking up at Jerome from the doorway. Even though it was going on almost two years since he had last seen her in person, she looked almost exactly the same. He curly short brown hair still hovered neatly above her shoulders. She was taller than the average woman, but Jerome now was taller than her. Her dark brown eyes made them seem almost black, but they were soft and that fact was complimented by her pink cardigan over her white shirt. She wore a long pink skirt too that made her look just like a school teacher.

"Thank you." Jerome said gesturing for her to come in. She hopped in the trailer and gave him a big hug. "It's so nice to see you again!"

"You too!" She said in her peppy voice, "It's been, what almost two years? Wow! How old are you now?"

"I'm sixteen."

"Wow!" She put her hands on her cheeks for emphasises. "How're the Grayson kids?"

"They're good."

"That's wonderful. I just can't get over how tall you are. You're taller than I am now!"

"Yeah." Jerome said awkwardly. He never liked it when people did that, but he let it pass because it was Mrs. Jones. Jerome led her to the living room where she pulled out some of her text books. They went straight into work and both decided without saying a word to leave any other conversations to the end. They worked for a few hours on maths, science ,and current issues. Jerome languished every moment he got to spend with her. It was a difference then doing school online. He loved asking her questions and being able to get help when he was confused.

After about three hours, Jerome and Mrs. Jones finally decided to take a break. Jerome gave her some of his mother's cheap coffee, but she didn't seem to mind.

"You're doing very well, Jerome."

"Thank you." He said sitting back down across from his tutor. "I've been doing a lot of studying on my own."

"I've noticed. I dare say you're ahead of my other students your age."

"Thank you." Jerome hesitated slightly before asking her the next question. "What do you think I should do when I get older?"

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't yet, but I don't what to stay here. I want to do more with my life. I don't even have an act here, yet they are still encouraging me to stay. All I do is help clean up after a performance. I'm not even that big of a help." Mrs. Jones listened to Jerome intently. She focused on what he was saying because she knew it was important to him. "It just seems like everybody here stays here and I feel like I'm trapped, and I don't know what to do. That's why I'm asking you. You're the only person I have to talk about things like this to."

"I know what it can be like to feel trapped in a place, Jerome. It may be hard to believe, but my family had been stuck in poverty for generations." Ms. Jones softened her voice talking to him. "My grandfather had been arrested in the civil rights movement, leaving my grandmother all alone and pregnant. Life tends to throw hardships like that at us. My grandmother moved away to Midway and my family was stuck in the cycle of poverty ever since then. But I didn't let that stop me. I rose up, but only with help. I was given an internship and scholarship at the university here. Sadly, not that many people have that opportunity, but look at where I am now. I have a loving husband and children and a great job. I want to give you the same opportunity I was given so long ago. It may take a while, but I hope that I'll get you there."

"Thank you for telling me that." He responded even though that didn't help him at all. He said thank you to be nice because he was sure that she didn't tell many people that, especially her students. Even though he was probably one of the few, how was her hardships supposed to help him figure out his? She probably didn't have an abusive mother and a dead father. Her parents were probably even supportive. Sometimes Jerome felt like people took supportive or even uncaring parents for granted. His doesn't want him to do well. Sometimes he even thought that she was setting him up for failure. "That most have been very hard."

"It was. Sometimes I still have nightmares of the gun fire from the neighbourhood." _Yeah and sometimes I have nightmares of people breaking beer bottles on my head. At least it wasn't directed at you._ "I just wanted to tell you that so you'll understand that either it can be all uphill from here or it can go down. It's all up to you." _Uh- huh because an underaged minor like myself can totally change my life and make it better with only the help of an underpaid school teacher that he only sees every few years._ "What do you want to do with your life Jerome?"

 _Finally_ "I don't know, Mrs. Jones."

"What interest do you have?" She asked him as she got into a more comfortable position. Apparently this was going to be a long conversation.

"I… I don't know." He said and it was the truth. He never really had time to explore hobbies. At this point it was hard to think of any moment he truly enjoyed. He enjoyed it when his mother wasn't around.

"Okay then, how about an easier question? What do you like to do in your spare time.?" Mrs. Jones asked Jerome looking truly curious. For how much he enjoyed her company, she didn't know much about him.

"I guess I like to watch movies…" He said unsure of himself.

"Good, what else?"

"Um… I like comedy…"

"Comedy?" She said quirking an eyebrow. She looked surprised.

"I guessed." He said scooting around uncomfortably in his seat.

"Well that could be a hard career to pursue, but if you really want to do that."

"I don't think I would." He said cutting her off frantically, but she waved her hand at him.

"You can do whatever you want. My husband's a comedian. He only works in small venues, but he's quite good at it." She smiled looking off into space as though she was remembering a joke he told her. "You know what he says the true secret to good comedy is?" Jerome shook his head. "Timing. He always said it's all about timing and stage presence. Your charisma. It's a tough career to get into, but I always thought you had something about you." She said scrunching her face, trying to put her finger on what it was. "You seem timid sometimes, but you have this air of… almost confidence around you. With practice you could do it. Do you have any jokes?"

"I… don't… I mean I never really considered it as a career before."

"You should consider all of your options." She said pulling out a notebook and started to write something down. "Is there anything else you can think of?" Jerome and Ms. Jones spent the better part of the afternoon talking about different career paths. A lot of kids would have found that boring, but Jerome loved it. They discussed science, which is not something he wanted to get involved in. They also discussed medicine ( _I don't think so_ ), sports ( _I don't think I'd be good at that.),_ politics ( _Maybe?),_ and a lot of different things. One thing that really caught his attention was theatre.

"I always like performing." Jerome said to Ms. Jones.

"Well, you did grow up in a circus. That could influence your decision, but if that's something you want to consider."

"It's something that I really enjoy. I think that might be something I want to consider." Jerome said. Ms Jones glanced sideways. She wasn't used to dealing with students going down that career path, but she wasn't going to stop him from doing what he wanted.


End file.
